Children

When a relationship ends and there are children involved, there can be a lot of issues to resolve about the arrangements for the children.

But often it can be a difficult and emotional time, there may be a lot of hostility and conflict, and it can be difficult or even impossible to talk together about these arrangements.

Mediation can help you sort out all of the arrangements for the children including things such as the day to day arrangements, where the children will live, how much time the children will spend with each parent and maybe other members of the family, such as grandparents, important events such as holidays and Christmas, and also the financial arrangements for the children.

Every family is unique and has their own ways of doing things. A mediator helps you to look at your own particular circumstances and explore the options that are suitable to you and your children and reach a solution that is tailor made for your own particular family's needs and circumstances.

A mediator helps you to focus on the needs of your children and , although children are not usually seen in the mediation, the mediator will help you to consider the children's wishes and feelings when considering the day to day arrangements and working out the finances.

The best people to make decisions about the arrangements and future of the children are their parents, and mediation provides a forum to help you to work together to explore all the options and work out your parenting arrangements, and to communicate better.

Where there is a lot of conflict, children can be used as weapons in the dispute and either be in the firing line of the conflict, or be go-betweens if there is no communication between their parents. Research has shown that children can suffer long-term emotional harm where there is a lot of conflict, whereas children benefit where parents are able to parent cooperatively and communicate about their children.

Even when there is a lot of conflict and hostility, or communication has broken down, mediation can help change the situation to one of co-operating parents who are committed to working together for the benefit of the children.

here are some excellent resources available for parents and children going through separation or divorce.

See our Resources section and Links to various websites including :

CAFCAS - with lots of information for children of all ages

Family Mediators Association - with lots of information for parents about separation and divorce, such as how to tell children about the separation